Ideas to try
Be kind to yourself
One of the most positive things we can do for ourselves is begin to think of ourselves with kindness and compassion. However, many of us find this extremely difficult. Listening to what others say about us may help …
Create a positivity portfolio – gather positive things people say about you, keep them and read them from time to time, particularly at times when we are feeling bad about ourselves or have had a rough day.
Identify your inner messages – write down 5 things you hear yourself say about yourself then write down one or more positive thoughts beside each belief. Read and re-read these positive thoughts. Be careful to make sure the thought is a definitely positive thought – it is easy to think we are being positive but actually write it as a negative.
Imagine how we would react to others in a similar situation to ours. – often we may more readily identify how to help others before we can see how we can help ourselves. Think about how you would comfort someone else in your situation. This can give you ideas of how to react kindly to yourself.
Learning to be mindful
Practise intentionally shifting your focus of attention
Often we feel we are not in control of what we are thinking about, but by shifting our focus of attention we can take more control of our thoughts. Try focusing on something in the room and then shift your focus to your breathing, for example, and then back to the thing in the room. It is useful to practise this skill.
Learning the correct technique for Relaxation Breathing can be hard at first, but can be one of the best ways to calm our nervous system. Try and follow these instructions to truly relax through breathing:
Practice soothing yourself…..
Place a hand over your heart and notice how it feels.
Notice the pressure on the skin, the heat between the hand and your chest, and if there is a sense of peace or wellbeing with this. Some people do not like this sensation, but others find it comforting and it is now known that this action releases a hormone called oxytocin into our body, which calms the nervous system. Some people may prefer to have a hand on their tummy or one hand on their chest and the other on their tummy, or the two hands on top of each other on the chest. Experiment with this and see how it feels to you. Be curious about it.
Give yourself a hug
Sometimes we can get comfort and feel more relaxed by giving ourselves a hug – try it and see what happens. It may give you a sense of calmness. If it makes you more agitated, do not worry , there will be other things that will help you feel calm.
Doing new things and being curious how it affects us – how we sense it in our body will often help us in our journey towards healing. The most important thing is to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves. Experimenting with art or movement can also be very useful.